Somehow I have come across some of the most delightful blogs written by mommies. They are funny,spontaneous,weird, honest, heartfelt and sometimes downright frightening. I LOVE THEM!. I was starting to feel like an intruder having not ever birthed a child, but then realized that a step mom counts for something. I met sweet step daughter when she was ten and she told me I was pretty so that pretty much sealed the deal…she will be 16 in July and is one inch short of gorgeous. Don’t want to give her a big head, just in case she might happen to read this. Today as I was driving her to school I mentioned that I read some mommy blogs where ladies write about whatever mommies do with babies and how they get used to it….do you get used to it? She said the I missed all the poopy diapers and throwing up, ah yes all the fun stuff I agreed. We both agreed that I could continue to read/write mommy blogs as I had my mommy wings now, not that not continuing was an option.
I have on occasion been melancholy for the baby that sweet step daughter was…mostly when sweet husband tells me stories of her first words, step or foreign food. I have found myself getting jealous that I didn’t know that child and then was quickly overcome with the admiration of my husband and how well he did as a single dad. Once his divorce was final, in order to see his sweet daughter more often he volunteered at her school. He only had part time custody so he scratched out more time where he could find it. I admire that so much. They would go on field trips, have open houses, have projects to build for science class, music lessons to go to, sleep overs with her friends. The first year that I knew sweet step daughter she was in fifth grade. I recall going to an all school musical event where each grade performed some songs and the occasional dance. The fifth graders started and it was well received and quite delightful, but to be honest it was the kindergarteners that stole my heart that day. As they took the stage, much like herding kittens, they took their places to sing ‘Old McDonald’. Parents were running to the front to take those snaps of the first on stage performance….never know where a star might be born. Camera flashes were coming from every direction and I started crying. I looked at then sweet boyfriend and said, “I didn’t miss it, I know what it’s like to see your child perform in school for the first time”. I was so overwhelmed to be able to participate that I was driven to tears. I knew I belonged.
Now let’s fast forward to today when on the radio I hear some DJ types talking about how Mother hood is becoming extinct, titled in Newsweek magazine called, “The end of Motherhood”. Now mostly the article is about how some countries are not populating and that will become an economic hardship for the country. But these goofballs on the radio were saying that it was our duty as a woman to have at least 2 children to keep the population up. One guy even went so far as to say that by not having children it’s the most selfish choice in the world. Well pick me up off the floor so I can poke you in the nose… I love the words choice…choose…chosen…decide…desire…opt….select…prefer…they mean to me that we are intelligent enough (hopefully) to make good choices in our life. I would not change one thing in my life, because it has brought me right to this moment of pounding on the keyboard to stress a point. I applaud anyone who has made the decision to not have children….I did for 40 years and then I made the decision to be a step mom and I wouldn’t change a thing.