Come Saturday Morning!

Way back in the dark ages when I did stuff because it filled up time, I would go to Tag Sales, Yard Sales, Jumble Sales, Estate Sales or your garden variety, garage sale. Sometimes I had a clear vision as to what I was looking for, be it a bedside table or some vases, but there was generally a plan for purchase. I think the best purchase I ever made was in a swanky part of Seattle where these two gay gents (with FABULOUS taste) were selling everything off to move to some God forsaken place where they could start over in a more liberal town. Really. Anyhoo, they had a VERY large, VERY heavy Armoire, that they probably didn’t want to bother to move, that I think I paid $18 or some ridiculous amount. Isn’t it odd that when I say ridiculous, you don’t know if I mean I paid too much or if it was show stopping low-low-dollar ridiculous. In this case GREAT DEAL, for all parties considered.

At the time of this purchase I was driving a 198sumthin Mazda 626 hatchback. Even though this new purchase was a monster, I knew I could get it first in my car and then out of the car and into my home….6 miles away, at least. So what did I do? I laid all the seats down, opened the hatch, had the boys (who were monsters themselves) lift it into the back of the hatch, slide it forward as far as it would go without ripping the snot out of the headliner, and I tied it securely in with dental floss. But to my credit, I drove slow and went the back way, increasing the driven mileage to about 10 miles not the above stated 6.

As I recall my friend had an appointment that she had to go to and most likey didn’t want to hurt her back helping me in the house with this behemoth, so I was on my own. I do not own a hand truck, I did not at the time own a dolly or anything with wheels that would enable me to propel my cabinet across my bumpy lawn, up the three steps to the old rickity deck and into the (thankfully) one story house. I am five foot two and could not see the top of this future dwelling of undies, nor could I span it with my arms…it was a big sucker. But what I lack in size I make up for in moxie or stupidity, depending on the situation. So with that said, I set out with a fair amount of tugging and sweating and eventually managed to deliver the armoire from the womb of my car, where I, with the assistance of gravity, was able to stand it up right and survey the situation. So far so good, it was out of the car and there was no damage to furniture or auto…excellent!

Now what? I could go in the house and wait for Useless boyfriend to eventually come home and help, but I actually wanted it indoors during the current decade. I took all six drawers out and took them into the house. I went into the garage to see what I might find of use and spied a piece of very large carboard, I don’t recall what it was for, but I knew I could use it. Once back at the car I put the cardboard on the ground and walked the armoire onto the cardboard. Now by walking I don’t mean I put a leash on it and we went for a jaunt. I literally walked it, corner by corner, with grunting and heaving and sweat, oh my, on to the cardboard. Wheels, I don’t need no stinkin wheels. I was at caveman level of inventivness and ready to push the heaviest piece of furniture ever made, toward my house, on a piece of cardboard. And do you know what? It worked. I was able to push, with great force I might add, my armoire across the lawn, up to the deck, tip it on its side onto the deck, across another piece of cardboard up to the door, where I used a upside down piece of carpet, to move it through the kitchen into my bedroom. VIOLA! I was so excited, what a great bargain, I didn’t get a ticket from having this thing hang more than halfway out of the car, I got it out of the car and I got it into the house. I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR!!!!! Actually, the next day I think it was, I am woman, I am sore!

I loved this piece of furniture for many years. I think it was one of my first purchases when I moved to Seattle which was 20 years ago this week. My how time does fly. When Sweet Husband and I got together and bought our current house there was no room for the Armoire, so we gave it to his sister. I’ll ask her today when I see her two questions. First if she still has it and secondly how did she ever get it home.

5 thoughts on “Come Saturday Morning!

  1. I’ve gone to garage sales my whole life. I love them. Not just for the bargains, though. I like to see what other people have – what they’re parting with. And I wonder what possessed them to buy some of the stuff in the first place. And when I’m lucky enough to land an antique, I always make a story about who the previous owner was.

    I’m so easily amused.

  2. I have always admired the usefulness of cardboard. (smile)

    Sounds like something a deranged
    Tennessee Williams might have written, etc.

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