I told you last time I posted that I would tell you “tomorrow” about my root canal. Well tomorrow was delayed for a couple of days as I adjusted to my new bite. I arrived at my appointed time for my root canal. I had talked myself into NOT being nervous and that is was about damn time that I start being a ‘big girl’ about going to the dentist. I had talked to my regular dentist about what a root canal is and when I left her office, I felt I knew what was going to happen.
At this point I’m still doing well as I stroll in, do the obligatory paperwork, meet the mouth miners and am quite happy with myself for being so calm and self possessed. I’m doing well, the google told me ‘that due to recent advances in root canals the process was not unlike having a cavity filled’. Well I’ve had cavities filled, so let’s get going people, I have places I’d rather be.
X-rays are taken, we chat, chat some more and then the dentist tells me she needs to do a couple other things just to make sure she has the right tooth. Tap-tap-tap, this tooth? um, nope! Tap-tap-tap, this tooth? um, maybe. Tap-tap-tap, this tooth? How about this one, close, it feels like the last tooth did. She starts the tapping again, this time with a bit more, not vengeance, but that’s what I want to write, it was actually more pressure tapping. Ah, she says, she has narrowed the field down. Next, since you are a bit sensitive to cold we’re going to put something cold on your tooth, raise your hand when you feel the ‘pain’ and keep it held up until the pain goes away. CHEESEANDCRACKERSGOTALLMUDDY! Both arms shoot straight up, my legs are pointed heavenward and I’m whisper-shouting fuck,fuck,fuck,fuck,fuck, fuuuuuuuuuuck. With tears rolling down my cheeks, I tell her I think she found it. But wait! The fun isn’t over, she wants to try another tooth. Hold on sister, I’ve had enough fun for today, don’t you have a better way of doing this, I want to ask, but she proceeds. This time when she places the cold on my tooth the pain was the same, but I recall the dentist and the hygienist physically jumping back from me, as if I may harm them. ME harm THEM? That’s cute. They got the same freakin reaction, hurt like something that hurts really bad. Ms Dentist leans back and tells me that I need not one, but TWO root canals, but the good thing is they are right beside each other. Holy Mother of Abraham Lincoln, how lucky can a girl get. But they can’t do both of them today, so we can do them tomorrow (Friday) or next Thursday. Well Friday I already had on my schedule to do a presentation at a sales meeting for one of my distributors and then fly to Boise to work in a store on Saturday. I knew that I wasn’t going to make it until next Thursday so I cleared my schedule and showed up at 7am on Friday to have my teeth fixed.
Because I can be deemed a “fraidy-cat” patient I was given a prescription for some calming tablets and told to take them prior to coming to the office and to make sure I had someone drive me to and from my appointment. Sweet Husband had to work, and Sweet Daughter had school, the cats don’t drive anymore so I had to suck it up and bring myself. I didn’t take the drugs, these bad boys weren’t going to heal themselves so I kept the appointment.
After this experience I think I have a very strong inkling of what a really busy hooker must feel like. I have never held my mouth open in the same position for over 3 hours before. My jaws are still sore.
I am all better now, except now I get the pleasure of getting crowns, my, won’t that make the insurance company my new best friend. My brief thoughts on insurance, what’s the fucking point, it’s almost useless and shouldn’t be tied to anyones employment.
And in conclusion (which used to be my favorite phrase way back when I went to church)how fucking sadistic do you have to be if you are a dentist and your name is Joy.