Flashes of hottieness

I’m pretty sure it’s not a secret that I like warm weather and ultimately being warm.  I think that in a past life I may have been a cat because I have been known to find a sunny spot on a cold day, curl up and take a nap.  Even if said nap is under the dining room table, where the sun shines in through the southern facing sliders.  I can only imagine Sweet Husbands surprise (because I was asleep) as he spied me huddled close to the two kittens fast asleep in a puddle of sunshine under the dining room table.  It was purrrrr bliss.

I like warmth and sunshine so much I even have a prescription for Vitamin D from my Doctor…I ♥ her.  This is the same Dr. that advised surgery, which I did, and now, 4 years later I think I’m feeling some after effects. Holy shit what could it be now?

After November 09 we didn’t really have much of a winter.  We had no snow this year ending up with record high temperatures in January. In fact the month of March was cooler than January, and Sweet Husband and I had our tropical escape in February so winter seemed shorter this year.  Like many people in the winter, I change to heavier sheets and thicker warmer night clothes.  Also during the sleeping hours we don’t have the heat on unless we are having an unusual cold snap so the house gets down to about 50 degrees via the automatic  temperature control on our furnace.  I like to sleep in a cool room with lots of covers and I have a fan on too,  but mostly for the noise.

The atmosphere is set, cool dark room, faint white noise in the background, blankets and garments to stay warm. I cozy down into my warm warm nest and peacefully slip into slumber.  After a few hours the top blanket slips to the floor from my tossing and turning.  The comforter is pushed to the middle of the bed and I lie  there with only a light sheet.  Something has gone horribly wrong…I. AM. Hot.  To which Sweet Husband said…”yes, you are” and I just grow hotter and blush, but would be dreadfully disappointed if he didn’t say that.  Now don’t worry about Sweet Husband, my trashing about doesn’t bother him one bit, he can sleep through anything.

I don’t know when it started happening, but at first I thought I was using to many covers along with wearing a long sleeved garment to bed.   I started making the bed with one less blanket and continued to wear the long sleeved garment. Hmmm, that wasn’t working so well so I changed to a short sleeve garment and still no relief.  At this same time I noticed that I needed to have the sheets untucked at the bottom of the bed to get some sweet relief and free air flow around my feet. Next option, sleeveless garment, that was a bigger help, but not enough.  I toss and turn looking for a cool spot in the bed and not finding anything remotely cool.  What the hell is going on with me, when it dawns on me one day.  I am a mid century model so  I must be going through “the change”, duh talk about not being in touch with my body.   Wow, being a girl is so much fun, in fact the fun never ends. Girls are in a constant state of morph-hood.  I’ve already grown enough chin hairs I could have a soul patch, but I think it best to keep plucking those lil suckers out.  Gravity has made what use to be a perfect 34 B chest measurement into a 40 long.  So why wouldn’t I be creating my own little power grid?

You know what would be really helpful?  If I were to have hot flashes when I’m actually cold.  They usually show up when I’m all comfy and not in need of any additional heat.  What if utilizing this heat source would be a great use of energy and situations, and off set our actual monthly heating bill . I could use this surplus energy to power home appliances, like the microwave or the coffee maker.  I’m sure I’m not the first person to opt for different uses of hot flashes.  But I think I’ll invest in a fold-able hand fan, open it with a swift flick of the wrist and practice saying “Aha de-clarah” and wait for things to cool off.

6 thoughts on “Flashes of hottieness

  1. i’m going to go through it ‘commando’ – no hormone replacement therapy because of breast cancer. friend of mine said that docs can prescribe effexor to deal with symptoms, such as hot flashes. if it gets in the way of sleep? i’m gonna have to do it. i like sleep. i likes it a bunch… and like you, i’m hoping i can get the worst of it during winter when i’m always cold!

  2. After my surgery, the HRT was our saving grace. Poor Richard, when I forgot my daily dose. I turned into the raving and ranting, pissed off creature from hell. Nicholson usually caught the brunt as he always said something extremely stupid that set me off. Now, the HRT has been gone for years, and I only do the hot flash rarely. Of course, it is in the summer or spring, so the timing sucks. Much like what you are experiencing. Soon, it will all go away for you and the cool nights ahead will be wonderful. It does get better. In the meantime, have a happy meltdown.

  3. Hmm, Nicholson always deserved what ever he got.

    I haven’t had any change of life symptoms and I am 62, must still have functioning ovaries, I’m guessing. Perhaps there are herbal equivalents of hormone replacement therapy. But they DO sell electric COLD blankets, cost you about 200 bucks.

  4. You’re on fire! Great entertainment writing! Maybe it’s best to take a break from our passion every now and then. You have made a whopping comeback! Can I use your term “morphhood”? Sure describes us Boomer types.

    • Yes please use, morph-hood, but from what I see you haven’t changed a bit. Pperhaps we should consider writing a boomer dictionary.

  5. My mother’s horror stories about “The Change” make me want to stop aging right now. I am a bear during PMS. I can only imagine how messed up I am going to be through all of that.

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